the Snow

The winter, the cold, the ice, the snow…

You know that… I’ve been running away for quite some time now. “Time…”

I know that… You’ve been doing the same.

It’s common, it’s normal. What did you expect? We have an excuse, you and I… It’s winter. Snow covers all the paths that we’ve been through. Whatever has to happen or whatever has not to happen and yet happened anyway is concealed under the cloth of blue ice and white snow.

Mistakes… I admit; of those I’ve done quite a few. I think about them. Every time it snows I get aside of the home window, watch the flurries falling down peacefully and think: What if?... So many options for complements…

If you concentrate enough you can see what I see. And what I see are the flurries going upwards – not the other way around. Not the way it is, but the way as it could have been. Yet as I choose to see one way, you choose the other.

I used to think that with the snow, not only the flow of water, but also the flow of time stops. It covers all the dirt, all the pain and all the secrets. The snow… It makes me feel calm, it relaxes me. It shows me the path to salvation. But it only and solely shows the path… The rest is up to me and I somehow cannot picture myself taking that path…

The white is the color of innocence. But with so much knowledge, with so much experience and exposure, how innocent can one be? If so pure, then why fall? I may not be brave enough to take the path that snow reveals in my mind but I am not senseless either.

Why do I feel this way? Why do I believe that snow hides everything there is to hide? Because it does! It does… Nothing is as innocent and is good as it seems.

If neither you nor I take out our disguise, with so many secrets all we can do is to fake our inner tranquility.

Aside to window, watching the snow… My emotions get numb of contradicting thoughts. But I will wake either when the snow stops or when you realize that I am gone…

The end is eventual. If we don’t fight, if we don’t engage to another there is no escape from the imminent reality: The snow will melt; the silence will fade away… So, there is nothing that stops time; only notion which comes with the snow and its motion.

You and I, we are doomed in this dimension of time..